Tip for Birth Partners
To the wonderful, supportive birth partner of a blossoming woman:
Here is a list of things that you can do for your birthing Momma both before and after your doula arrives. You may wish to read this list several times prior to the beginning of birthing and envision yourself providing support for your lover while she brings your baby into the world. Picture it as a sensual and intimate experience, even when no touch is involved, for it will be!!! Your are her biggest support and this experience involves you as much as it does her, so relax and enjoy!
- If birthing begins at night and is light, help her back to sleep with a massage and relaxation scripts. Practice reading scripts every day in the weeks before birth.
- If birthing begins during the day, take her to a place you both love where you can share the birthing together and keep in close, relaxed physical contact with her.
- Help her to remember to drink plenty of water or juice and to eat as long as she wants to; prepare (or buy) her favorite foods (avoid fatty foods and those very high in sugar).
- Wear something she likes and have your special birth outfit selected in advance.
- Remind her to eat and drink as much as she'd like during birthing- She needs to drink a LOT and you should offer her water or juice between each surge.
- As birthing progresses, help her relax further by encouraging her to let her body "go limp," while visualizing the birth path gently opening as Baby is making the short journey soon to be in your receiving arms. Follow her lead as she may already be visualizing another thought.
- In between the waves that she is feeling, stroke her gently and provide light tough massage to reassure her that you are present and actively birthing with her.
- Between surges, hug her and love her. Remind her to fill her entire body with the in-breath and visualize the lifting and opening of her uterus (or another visual that she prefers) during her next surge.
- Remind her that every surge brings her further into relaxation. If she panics, remind her that her feelings are normal and she can let go and give in to her body’s temporary changes. As her surges are ending say, “What a beautiful smile after a healthy surge.” You will notice that she will follow your lead and smile each time.
- You should not be embarrassed to use common endearments with your doula, caregiver or nursing staff around; she needs to hear them from you!
- Maintain eye contact during her waves and tell her how beautifully Baby and her are working together.
- Stay by her side at every moment possible. Rest with her and conserve your own energy. Ask someone else to get you your drink. When a support person walks away from a birthing woman it can cause a very uprooting distraction for her.
- Once she is breathing the baby down, get your body close to hers so she feels your support and reinforcement.
- Let her know when you can see the baby's head, and help her reach down and touch it. Then get ready to receive your baby!
- Tell her you love her as much as possible, before, during, and after birthing.
- Tell her how beautiful she looks as she births your baby.
- Tell her how proud you are of her for allowing her body to relax so naturally.
- Stay calm and relaxed even when birthing is intense. This is beautiful and amazing work that she is doing!
- Above all, try to never let anyone else disempower you. You have a huge role in this birth and you are the voice for Mom while she is birthing. No one has the right to tell you that your opinions and requests are unimportant. You are making healthy decisions for your child and they should be honored.
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